The Testament of Jessie Lamb by Jane Rogers

Author:Jane Rogers [Rogers, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Contemporary, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Young Adult
ISBN: 9780062130808
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2011-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

It was the sound of the car in the drive that woke me. Dad was back! I pulled on my dressing gown and ran downstairs to meet him. His big grey coat, his purple scarf, his monkey face and grey floppy hair all seemed brighter than usual, larger than life, more vivid than I had remembered. He gave me a big big hug.

‘Where were you? Didn’t you get my texts? What’s happened to your phone?’ I heard Mum come downstairs behind me.

‘Hello Joe,’ she said.

‘We need to talk,’ he replied quietly.

Mum nodded. ‘I’ll make some tea.’

‘I wanted time to think,’ he said to me. ‘That’s all. I just needed some time on my own, to think things through.’

‘But you could have texted!’

‘No, it was better to keep it switched off.’

‘But Dad we were worried, we didn’t know where you were–’

‘Well I’m home now. Listen Jess, your mother and I need to talk. Give us some peace, alright? There are things we need to sort out.’ He followed Mum into the kitchen and shut the door.

I went slowly back up to my room. I had news to tell him, had he forgotten? I sat on my floor and listened to the ups and downs of their voices, they were both keeping them low, a running murmur. What were they sorting out? How to get divorced? How to divide up the house and the car and the furniture and knives and forks, how to divide me?

Mandy was right. I should ignore them. They caused all this distress and disruption because of their argument, so that I had to lie awake night after night worrying, and now they didn’t even apologise! For all they cared, I was perfectly irrelevant. I imagined marching downstairs and telling them–‘OK, put your big splitting-up drama on hold and listen to me for one moment. I’ve been to see Mr Golding, and this is what I’ve decided to do…’ I would tell them, and they would both stand staring at me, then I’d say, ‘OK. Now you can go back to your self-obsessing.’

But really, there was no point in telling them. If they hadn’t got time for me, then I hadn’t got time for them. It was none of their business anyway.

I remembered Baz, and heat crept into me. I could feel my nipples tight against my t shirt. I squeezed my hands against them. The feeling was so–so–oh, I don’t know, I can’t describe it, for a moment I was petrified. I thought, if I could do that every day of my life I wouldn’t even care about anything else. Not the planet, not the future, nothing. I’d be like Sal was with Damien at the start–just a one track mind. If Baz really liked me surely he wouldn’t go away, how could he? Even for a week? Nobody had told me. Nobody had warned me I would feel so–so–like this. Like a sex maniac.

I wedged my chair against the door and rolled back on my bed and touched myself.

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